Friday, June 27, 2014

Lucille Cousin Service 4 brochure

From: Rich
Sent: Sunday, June 01, 2014 9:02 PM
Subject: Lucille Cousin Service 4 brochure


Mom loved to go down to "Decoration Day" (we call it Memorial Day) in Kentucky every year. It is held at the Adkins-Arthur Cemetery (where her folks, grandparents and many, many family members are buried) and it is a week later than ours. They have a big family reunion type get-together with plenty of food, pictures, talking and live gospel music. This was the first year that not one of the Arnold sisters attended and it was because of age related health problems. Mom and I made it many times along with Marilyn Rose. Marilyn Rose called all of us kids about Mom's deteriorating health 30 May. We had submitted funeral plans in 2010 so on Friday 31 May I went in to review them. Mom had started making her plans back in 1976 and I had followed her wishes. She had everything paid for years ago. I had a list of things that had to be completed when I returned home Saturday. On Sunday night at 9:02 p.m. I sent this as the last email requested by the funeral home. This was DECORATION DAY, JUNE 1, 2014! When I received the Death Certificate it showed TIME OF DEATH as 9:02 p.m., the same exact time/date as the email. She chose the time to take her last breath.


Thursday, June 26, 2014

Grandma Cuz Slideshow, 1995

Rich and Christy presented this to Mom at her 75th birthday party. I had to right click my mouse and go to the video. Others just had to click on the colored line.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The 2013 book of cards received from her loving family and friends that she reviewed again and again is a treasure.


Shannon (Doug's wife) Cross-stiched this blanket with our family names as a birthday gift to Mom years ago.


Registry Book


Mom in Casket


Prior to Service (Mom in Casket)


Mom's Kids

By age; Phyllis Ann on left, Marilyn Rose, Me, Dennis Ray, Marsha (Tubby)

My sons Rich, Darian, Denny Ray, Doug's daughter Kristina, Doug, Devin (the photographer) at Blues Cafe after the Services


Doug stepping in to help me talk about Mom (Some of Bill's ashes were placed in the casket by Marilyn Rose)


My wife Barbara tells about her many years of close friendship with Mom


Doug Miller reflecting on his Gramma and daughter Reagan Lucille


Rich Miller telling about his Gramma Cuzz


Vickie Sain (The Dago) remembering Mom


Talking about Mom the Storyteller


Casket 4


Casket 3


Casket 2


Casket 1

Phyllis Ann, Marilyn Rose, Aunt Dorothy (Aunt Dora was in the hospital and Mardene didn't attend this part). Dennis Ray with hat, standing.


All grandsons, standing in order of Mom's kids. Dusty Redman is on the left for oldest child Phyllis Ann. Denny Ray is in for Bill. Butch Walwer for Marilyn Rose Walwer Schultz. Rich Miller for me. Damon Miller for Dennis Ray. Stevie Lank for Marsha Lynn (Tubby) Miller Lank Gersky.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Richard's Tribute

My grandma died Sunday night. Grandma had been in a nursing home for several years after it became clear that she wasn't safe living alone, even with family in the same small town and regular visits from a nurse.
I thought I had prepared myself. She was 93 and had been in hospice for over a year. But something has stuck with me from the phone call I got soon after Grandma died.
Grandma's breathing was labored for a while, then she took a deep, final breath and tears rolled down her cheeks as she passed away.
* Grandma was a huge music fan and told me once that she saw Glenn Miller and his big band. I was blown away by that. I was just starting to get into that man's awesome sounds (go watch "Orchestra Wives" and you'll get a real sense for how the kids went crazy for Miller's music), and Grandma told me how wild and loud the show was and how everybody was dancing their hearts out.
Grandma drove to Nashville numerous times to soak up performances at the Grand Ole Opry She saw everybody, everywhere. I'm convinced that she attended triple the concerts that I've ever seen. Grandma's brother was a guitar player in a country/bluegrass band in Kankakee back in the day, and I'm pretty sure I get my love for music from her.
She loved to dance. And she could cut a rug with the best of them until well into her 80s. The woman stomped on the terra every day of her life.
* Grandma was constantly on the go and traveled all over the place. She came to my high school graduation in Germany. She visited us when we lived in Utah. She went out to California I don't know how many times. And if she didn't have a destination, she'd make one by driving around until she found something to do. Maybe a garage sale. Maybe an old friend.
Grandma traveled regularly to her original home near London, Kentucky to see family and friends. They lived in the hills, and Grandma rode a horse to school when she was growing up. She used to tell stories about wearing a buffalo skin blanket in the back of the family car.
She was an unbelievably good cook. I used to go to her house sometimes just so I could beg her to make me some liver and onions - something nobody else could do as well as her. The first time I ever ate rabbit was when grandma cooked it for me. She'd bought it from a co-worker at the General Foods factory in Kankakee.
Grandma worked hard at that factory, which made dog food. She worked hard her entire life, from Kentucky to Kankakee. But I never heard her complain and she made great friends at that factory. We'd always run into them when we went out on the town together. She was one of those special people who seemed to know everybody and everybody loved her. It was like hanging out with a working class celebrity, I kid you not. She had a real presence that everyone around her could feel. People were naturally attracted to her.
* Grandma loved to go out to the taverns with her friends. She wasn't against going to the riverboats on occasion, either. She didn't live in a big house, quite the opposite. She wasn't into conspicuous consumption, except for making sure she always got her hair done just so.
Instead, she wanted to have fun. And, man, did she ever have fun. I once laughed so hard at one of her stories that I dropped my beer can on her floor, which made her laugh. She didn't drop her beer, though.
* Grandma treated her 22 grandchildren like they were all her favorites. I was the oldest male grandchild, so maybe I got extra special treatment every once in a while. At least, I felt so.
I'm told I'm the one who came up with the "Gramma Cuz" nickname for her. All her grandkids and great grandkids called her that. She was married briefly after divorcing my grandfather and kept her second husband's name Cousin for reasons I never really asked about. Some things, you just don't discuss with a lady.
Grandma taught me how to crochet once. I was spending a Christmas break from college with her and we couldn't go anywhere because the weather was bad. Some of my friends made fun of me when I told them what I did over break, but, truthfully, it wasn't about the crocheting. It was about spending time listening to my grandmother tell her stories and feeling as close to her as I've ever felt to anybody in my life.
* I think I told you already that Gramma Cuz met John F. Kennedy. I believe it was 1959, and my grandfather was a Teamsters guy. He took Grandma to a union event in Chicago and Kennedy put his arm around Grandma, kissed her on the cheek and told my grandfather that he had a beautiful wife. To the day she died, nobody could ever say a bad word about JFK in front of Grandma. Ever.
* Years ago, we were in her kitchen in West Kankakee and we talked for the first and only time about growing old. Grandma got really angry as she explained how she absolutely hated the idea of slowing down with age. She wanted to grab hold of life by the throat each and every day and and have fun, damnit. No slowing down for her. That just wasn't her way. Aging was an enemy, something to be fought.
Watching her slowly fade away, first at her house and then in the nursing home, broke my heart. When dementia finally occupied her almost non-stop, I had to force myself to go see her. But she always knew who I was, even at her most distant. Her eyes would light up when I walked in and she'd hold my hand. But she was soon gone again, lost in an incomprehensible world that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I knew she was suffering. I knew how much she despised the fate that ultimately overcame her. And so it was almost a relief when she passed. At least she will have peace, were my first thoughts.
But I haven't been able to stop thinking about those tears running down her cheeks at the end. She'd lost her fight. The fun was truly over. No more traveling, no more new experiences, no more children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, no more crazy fun music, no more of life's simple pleasures and beauties.
I've been haunted by those thoughts for days. But Grandma is indeed finally at peace and no longer suffering. So, I'm trying now to focus on how grateful I am for the love she gave her family, for the example she set of hard work and harder play and for always being there for anybody who ever needed her.  . She was one of the finest storytellers I knew. It's not so much what she said, but in how she told those stories. I write a lot like she talked. I've been blessed to have her genes.
Grandma's wake is Wednesday afternoon and her funeral is Thursday. So, don't expect many posts.
Lucille Arnold Miller Grandma Cuz Cousin

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Foltz Flowers 8

The funeral home had provided with pictures of the flowers sent with names of the donor. They missed two: this one and the IT one.

IT Flowers 7

These were from Darian's Company, the IT Division.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Moms ARC sign


Funeral Home sign


Adkins -Arthur Cemetery

ADKINS-ARTHUR CEMETERY. Mom loved to return to Kentucky every year. Her parents, Mary Etta Arthur and George Arnold, are buried next to her grandparents, Nancy and John Arthur, in the Adkins-Arthur Cemetery, just across the road from his home place. Mom said that her Mother had always wanted to lay by her folks and her Father wanted to be buried there too because it was on a hill and he didn't want to lie in water for eternity. Usually some of her sisters would attend Decorat...ion Day get-togethers and Mom would sometimes join them or go with some of us kids. It is held on a different day than our Memorial Day. I have 8mm movies from the 60's and 70's of some of her trips there. The maintenance of the cemetery is supported by donations. Aunt Tevis and Aunt Edith would always raise a little money from the Arnold Family to donate something every year. Mom faithfully donated every year and I did it for her in her later years. Fact is I had sent a check down just last week. Aunt Dorothy said this year is the first year that at least one of the Arnold sisters didn't make it there. Mom passed away on Decoration Day, 1 June 2014. In lieu of flowers we asked that donations be provided to the ARC of Iroquois County (that is where Aunt Mardene lives). The cash money donated to the "To be used according to the wishes of the family." was $190 and it will go to the cemetery maintenance fund.


Sign In 5


Sign In 4


Sign In 3


Sign In 2


Sign In 1


Flowers from Mom's Wake 6


Flowers from Mom's Wake 5


Flowers from Mom's Wake 4


Flowers from Mom's Wake 3


Flowers from Mom's Wake 2


Flowers from Mom's Wake 1


Friday, June 6, 2014

Moms Wake Program p2


Moms Wake Program



D-Day. 70 years ago today a young Bonfield farmboy ELWOOD "BUCK" FOLTZ (Dads cousin) was a part of the landing at Normandy Beach. He rarely spoke of it but after his wake of few of his private, personal and painful stories were shared by his brothers. The incoming fire was so bad at one point that while he was facedown on the beach he reached down and pulled dead bodies up around him as a shield. The sand and the water were red with flowing blood. When I asked him once about it he said there was no f-ing movie or anything else that could show the real truth of it. Thanks to all of them for what they did.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014


Lucille Cousin

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Posted: Tuesday, June 3, 2014 9:19 am | Updated: 9:19 am, Tue Jun 3, 2014.

Lucille Arnold Miller "Gramma Cuz" Cousin, 93, of Martinton, passed away Sunday (June 1, 2014) at Sheldon Healthcare.

She was born Oct. 13, 1920, in London, Ky., the daughter of George and Etta Arthur Arnold. Lucille was married to LaVerne Miller from 1938 to 1963 and Maurice Cousin from 1964 to 1965. After they were married, she farmed with her husband in Limestone Township. She retired from General Foods, Gaines Division, and had previously worked at Bear Brand Hosiery, both in Kankakee.

She loved her children and their families more than anything else. She enjoyed traveling, whether to Europe, throughout the U.S., or on the roads around the Kankakee area. She was a great storyteller, providing facts and remembrances such as staying warm under a buffalo robe in the family's open touring car and riding her horse to school along with her brother, Welty. The details she provided made her stories come alive to those who would sit and listen, learn and remember. A good joke and a hardy laugh were her trademarks.

A lifelong Cubs fan, she tried to attend at least one game a year in Chicago. She enjoyed going to the "boats" once gambling opened up in Illinois. And, she was an expert dancer who could keep up with the younger generations until her early 80s. Her hobbies included spending time with family, reading, crocheting, talking on the phone daily and doing word puzzles.

Surviving are sons, Richard Wayne (Barb) Miller, of Geneseo, Dennis Ray (Lynne) Miller, of Bradley; daughters, Phyllis Ann (Gary Billadeau) Redman, of Kankakee, Marilyn Rose Schultz, of Watseka, Marsha Lynn (Marlon) Gersky, of St. Petersburg, Fla.; sisters, Dora, Dorothy and Mardene Arnold, all of Watseka; brother-in-law, George Wingerter, of Martinton; best friend, Pearle Peterson, of Chicago Heights; and 22 grandchildren.

Lucille was preceded in death by her parents; one son, Vernon Luther "Bill" Miller, of Martinton; two brothers, Welty (Martha) and George "Berle" Arnold, of Kankakee; four sisters, Gertrude (Everett) Martin, of Pittsfield, Tevis Wingerter, of Martinton, Edith Palmero, of Kempton, and Velma Blanton, of Crete.

Visitation will be from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Wednesday at Clancy-Gernon-Hertz Funeral Home, west Kankakee, where funeral services will be at 10 a.m. Thursday. Burial will be in Kankakee Memorial Gardens, Aroma Township. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to The Arc of Iroquois County.

Please sign her online guestbook at

Monday, June 2, 2014

Lucille Arnold 13 Oct 1920-1 June 2014

Lucille Arnold Miller Cousin, 93, of Martinton, passed away Sunday (June 1, 2014) at Sheldon Health Care Center. Arrangements are pending at the Clancy-Gernon-Hertz Funeral Home, west Kankakee.